If sex with your partner has been a bit...lackluster lately, it might be time to spice things up with tantric sex. If you're asking yourself "what TF is tantric sex and how is it different from normal sex?", we're here to help.
Tantric sex is, " a slowed-down, awe-inspiring, super hot way of having sex," according to tantra expert Barbara Carrellas. It's basically a way of doing something so really, any activity - including sex - can be done tantrically.
You aren't alone if that surprises you, as many people have these grandiose ideas and misconceptions about tantra sex and how it looks. In reality, it doesn't look much different from the inside - but it feels different on the inside.
That means there is no learning curve when it comes to practicing tantra sex - it's applying tantric flair to positions you already know by, "slowing down, decentering the orgasm, maintaining eye contact, and focusing on deep loving."
To help you get started with tantra sex, here are seven sex positions to try!
Self-Love First
If you're interested in tantric sex, experts recommend trying it on yourself first. Tantric masturbation, according to Carol Queen, Ph.D., "is the exact opposite of the quick-n-dirty, rush-to-the-finish-line masturbation that so many people practice." It's more about concentrating on your breath, a slower touch, being mindful of your body, and noticing where energy builds in your body.
Taking it slowly does mean it will take longer to build up to climax, but that can lead to a more powerful orgasm. There aren't any rules when it comes to tantric masturbation. While toys can be a part of it, you can also experiment with other things like doing it in the bathtub, experimenting with nipple play, and more.
Tilted Missionary
Ah, missionary. Some might think this is the vanilla of sex positions - but vanilla is one of our favorite flavors. Missionary is also a great tantric sex position because it is the ultimate connection-booster. Before doing missionary sex, start with in-sync breathwork (breathing at the same time) or looking into each other's eyes. Two minutes is a great amount of time for beginners.
After that, add penetration. To deepen penetration (or to access the G-spot easier), add a sex pillow or ramp.
The "Yab Yum"
Deemed the "ultimate tantric sex position", the Yab Yum is a "seriously intimate, connection-boosting configuration," according to Queen. It's essentially a tantra-fied version of the lotus position.
Have the penetrating partner sit cross-legged on the bed, couch, or floor while the receiver straddles their partner's lap facing them with legs wrapped around your partner's lower back. As you are penetrated and embracing each other, incorporated tantra practices such as eye-gazing and in-sync breathing. Try rocking back and forth for deeper penetration. If the person on top has a vulva, have them tilt their pelvis up for some extra G-spot love.
The Great Bee
The Great Bee is a position where the penetrating partner lies on their back and the receiving partner rides them. It's similar to Cowgirl - except with one key difference. The top partner pulls their legs towards their chest like they are doing a deep squat. To help with support, they can place their arms on their partner's chest.
This position is great for really deep thrusting - but not fast thrusting. While the word "thrusting" typically implies and in-and-out motion, this position focuses on experiencing intercourse differently. Queen recommends the penetrating partner make circles, go back and forth or tilt side to side.
Connected Cunnilingus
In the tantra sex world, oral sex is referred to as "oral love." Leah Piper, a tantra educator, says, "It's the act of honoring your partner's body full and completely with your mouth. It's the act of using your hot mouth to bless and worship the one you love."
When you're being worshipped (using that term from now on), the intention isn't to climax but to focus on your breath and experience your partner on a deep and emotional level. Try inhaling through your nose and exhaling through your mouth to help you connect to sensations occurring from your toes to your vagina to your head - and then to your partner.
For an added boost of intimacy, prop yourself up on your forearms so you can look down at your partner and into their eyes. It could feel awkward at first but don't give up! #practicemakesprogress
Spooning Sex
Oh spooning sex - one of our favorite positions because it's both hot and doesn't require a lot of effort. And in the tantra sex world, it's already pretty intimate because you're literally already cuddling. To take it to the next tantric level, start by snuggling - and not penetrating. Try talking about what you desire, fear, and love. Sharing information in this setting will help deepen the connection and intimacy for the sex that follows.
When you are ready for sex, have the penetrating partner ease their way into the receiving partner. Then, get handsy - touch yourself, your partner, intertwine your fingers - basically anything that involves touch! And if you're the receiving partner, turn back and look at your lover.
The Golden Retriever
We're not knocking doggy-style, but sometimes it can feel very, un-intimate. Don't worry, though, this position can easily be tantra-fied. It's actually a great position for opening up the root chakra, an erogenous zone that helps us feel security and a sense of belonging.
Start in a traditional doggy style, with the receiving partner on all fours and the penetrating partner behind them. Rather than grasping at the receiver's hips, have the penetrator drape their body over their partners. This allows for more skin-to-skin contact. To activate the heart's energy center, the receiver can arch their back.
And there you have it - seven new tantric sex positions to try during your next solo or partner session! Do you have a favorite tantric sex position? Let us know!