Guest Post Written by Shanny-Dee
If you decided to continue reading this article after seeing the title, that means you are at least somewhat curious...and that’s great! Curiosity is necessary to start your journey into the realm of kink. Perhaps you are already a kinkster, and want to learn more. This article should have some helpful tips for you as well! Maybe you have zero experience or knowledge when it comes to kink, that’s totally fine, and why I’m here. If you’re a hater, I will kindly ask that you go be boring somewhere else, thank you.
Now, for those who have stuck around...What is a “kinkster”?
A kinkster is someone who, while perhaps still enjoying “vanilla” sexual experiences, also gravitates towards more taboo forms of sexual play. Most kinksters are fond of certain or all aspects of BDSM (bondage and discipline, dominance and submission, sadism/sadocism and masochism). If you have hardly any sexual experience, or have only had “vanilla” experiences...how do you know what aspects of BDSM you enjoy? That’s a valid question, and thankfully I have just the website for you:
On this website they will ask you a multitude of questions to help assess what you’re interested in sexually. There is a shorter version, for those who are more interested in just dipping their toes in, as well as a longer more complex version for those who have been participating in kink/BDSM previously. Just like sexuality, gender and most things in the world, kink is a spectrum. During some points in your life you will possibly gravitate towards certain kinks, while finding others dull, or even uncomfortable. However, as your taste for all things in life change and develop, so might your opinion on different kinks. That’s why this website is so interesting, it will save your previous test results so you can come back several weeks/months/years and see how your tastes have evolved. I find that to be very cool, personally.
I myself am a kinkster and so here are my own most recent results:
Once you receive your results, the website gives you a brief definition about the certain kinks you do/don’t fall into by percentage. I highly recommend if you would like a further look into exploring some of these kinks to:
1. Google, read articles (hello!), follow kinksters online (I’ll leave a list of some of my favorites at the bottom of this article)
2. Find (and pay) for porn that involves the specific kink you’re interested in learning more about...you can find porn to pay for on:
ManyVids
Curvage
And many more!
3. If you are unable to find premade porn with the particular things you are looking for, I suggest finding an independent porn creator (such as myself...or I also have a lot of online friends) who do custom work. You can find them through Twitter, or perhaps even Instagram. I would start by sending a tribute first, to catch their attention, since they do get a lot of messages and scammers.
That’s right, porn can be catered to you...and it’s not weird/odd, it’s literally that person's job. However, depending on the exact content you’re requesting, independent porn creators will charge a somewhat higher fee for their time, editing, and overall setup/filming, just keep that in mind.
Once you’ve researched what you’re interested in, watched some porn, and fantasized about your desires...that might be enough for some. That’s totally valid, congrats! You’re a kinkster! However, you may also want to try out some of these new found turn ons with a partner.
If you already have a partner, see if maybe they’re interested in taking the BDSM test I linked above, you might even find you have some compatible kinks. For instance let’s say your test result is 99% “brat” and your partner's test comes back a 99% “brat tamer” you might have a new, fun dynamic in the bedroom to play around with.
If you’re single, and looking for a playmate, I recommend this website.
It’s similar to Facebook...except for kink/BDSM, Zuckerburg would hate that I said that, which as a social deviant...makes me love it even more!
You can create a fetlife profile, and be very upfront with what exactly you’re looking for, and find other kinksters in your area who are compatible with your needs.
You can also use Tinder/Okcupid and or whatever other dating/hookup apps you enjoy and perhaps put a little something in your bio about looking for other kinksters. Make sure you set appropriate boundaries for yourself, and to take some precaution when doing this.
There’s also an app called “Feeld” that caters to polyamorous couples, singles, swingers, and those looking for more unique sexual experiences, however I personally have not used this app, but have heard from friends that they do enjoy it.
Since I am writing this in the corona-era, I would like to note, if you are meeting new partners, as always bring up any safety concerns you may have. Ask as many questions as you need to feel comfortable. See when the last time this new partner has been tested for both STD’s/Covid, how many partners they see/how often they see them. With every sexual encounter there is some risk, so please keep that in mind while exploring.
Well, there you have it. I hope you found this article helpful in understanding if you are/aren’t a kinkster and hopefully you’ve discovered something new that will keep you busy. Thanks for reading!
Some kinksters to follow:
@kinkyblackeducator on Instagram
@daemonumx on Instagram
@Thedimpledduchess on Tiktok
@ihartericka on Instagram